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To get beyond the simple expedient of being 'the boyfriend' and allowing them to see the real me, which is terrifying to contemplate.Why was that such a scary thought? Fear of rejection? Well, I should be used to that by now. Except, I always took comfort in the idea that they weren't really rejecting me, because they didn't really know the 'real' me. They were rejecting my version of 'the boyfriend'.I was slowly realizing, that playing the boyfriend was a dead end, had always been a dead end, and if I ever wanted something like long-term happiness I'd have to be honest with them and myself. I'd have to learn how to be myself, which was a weird thought. I wonder if I could practice somehow. Maybe go out to bars and see what it felt like to 'be myself', I guess.Ugh.Not long after I found out about masturbation, and then the internet, I discovered stories describing BDSM relationships, and it resonated somewhere deep inside of me. I wanted to be a dominant. I wanted control. But that. "Shhhhhh! " I whisper to her as I push my fingers inside her and began fucking her tight pussy. Jessica screams again " AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!" When will you learn to give in and let this happen, it will be alot easier on you if you do. It will happen whether you fight or not so just be good. Understand?" She sobbed and shook her head yes. I pulled my fingers from her pussy and forced her to get up from the sofa.We went into the bed room, I forced her down onto the bed and pushed her legs open with my hairy legs.. I held her chin and made her look at me again. "You don’t have to feel uncomfortable with me, you know." "I know." She whispered."I would never say or do anything to hurt you." "No... Wait. Please stop." She said as she gently held my hand. "Relax." I whispered as I slowly laid on top of her. "I don’t wanna do this." She whispered with a trembling voice. She looked at me with fearful eyes. I smiled at her. A kind, soothing smile. I took my hand back from her pussy. I saw the.
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