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I came back from my all day meetingand immediately did my fingers and toes in Sally Hansen Pumped Up Pink.Then I got dressed, slowly putting on my earrings and matching necklace,and of course my pretty undies. My sister would have been proud. Then myskirt, blouse and the open toed shoes that showed off my pretty toes. Iput on some makeup and my wig and was all set. I opened the door. Thehallway was empty. I went to the elevator and pressed the button. Itarrived and a woman from the hotel was on it. I stepped on, nodded helloand turned away. She responded, saying "hello."Then out I went into the lobby. Nobody said a word, although therestaurant hostess nodded hello. Did she realize anything? Did she care?Then I went out the front door of the hotel, and guess what, I felt arelease of tension that was so palpable it was as if an anvil had beenremoved from shoulders. Next, I walked roughly half a mile to Sephora,where I had an appointment for a makeover. Everyone there was. Common sense stuff like don’t drink red colored fluids the day before, and no chunky jalapeños up to a week before, because all these things will interfere with getting a valid result. Not to mention keeping those in the procedure room from passing out in horror. Anyway. He’ll also give you a list of things to buy that you’ll get to drink the night before your colonoscopy. My list included something called Go Lightly, and I sincerely hope whoever was responsible for naming this product roasts in Hell. Go Lightly? There’s nothing lightly about the way you’ll be going after you drink that shit, unless you want to consider this in terms of your movements between bed and toilet. You’ll definitely want to go lightly then — but really quickly, too — beginning about a half hour after you drink your first container of that crud. And now, here’s some more really good news. You’re going to get to drink gallons of this stuff, and at timed intervals over a few hours. The stuff tastes like.
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